


I'll Answer

by FreeGrain



Category: Batwoman (TV 2019)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Pennymoore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23303782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreeGrain/pseuds/FreeGrain
Summary: Sophie can't help but be attracted to Julia, when she quite literally swept her off her feet. Yet a part of her keeps holding her back. And she hates that part of her.{Sophie x Julia}{Pennymoore}
Relationships: Sophie Moore/Julia Pennyworth
Comments: 13
Kudos: 46





	I'll Answer

**Author's Note:**

> So as mentioned on my Tumblr, I was writing a little drabble for my new ship, Pennymoore, which became a little longer. Blame Julia Pennyworth, she stole my entire heart 💜 But hey, here you go!

Sophie could feel Julia's breath on her lips and hated how much she wanted to taste it. How quickly had she appeared and literally swept her off her feet. She'd taken a bullet for her, for God's sake. 

Yes, it had been a contracted mission but the action stood out in her mind. A beautiful stranger sweeping in and saving her life. She could still remember the beat of her heart when their gazes met. 

Now, under the night sky, with a gentle mist rolling in, there were no watchful eyes that would see them. 

It was like instant attraction and the more time they spent together, the more she dreamed of what could be. Drawn to each other, Sophie wanted it. But also refused to let herself have it. 

But as quickly as the promise of a kiss came, it was withdrawn. 

Julia pulled back, a faint disappointment crossing her face before it vanished, as if it had never been there at all. Her hands released hers as she took a step back. 

Sophie blinked, desperately wishing to chase her warm back into her arms. 

"Why…?" 

"Did I stop?" Julia laughed. "I know when women want me to kiss them but you, Sophie Moore, are not one of them." 

But she did. But didn't at the same time. Emotions were such strange things that she couldn't control. And out of them, fear was the strongest. 

Sophie swallowed nervously. "I…" 

Words would not come out. They got stuck in her throat so she just stared. 

"Or maybe you do," Julia said. "But you're too afraid to want it." 

Too true. Batwoman had been a reckless kiss in the dark where she could pretend and fake, act like it wasn't real. 

Julia was different. She had a face and a name. She was a real person to her. And if they kissed, they'd both know and she could never take it back. 

Julia stepped forward again, back into her space. Sophie didn't step away but didn't step closed either. 

"It's okay," Julia murmured. "I get it. We were all there once. It's a dark hole. But eventually you'll be able to come out." 

Her chest tightened and her breath caught in her throat. 

Julia was sympathetic, taking her hand and whispering that she'd be okay. 

Would she be though? Sophie had seen first hand how Kate had been hurt by coming out. How despite what she achieved, how people's spiteful words and actions still weighed on her. She herself had even hurt her, refused to stand with her when she promised. 

And then even Batwoman, the city's saviour, had people turn on her. All because she was gay. 

Sophie wasn't used to rejection. She hated it. She watched her own mother walk away with shame and disappointment in her heart. 

So how could she do it? Be brave enough to not close her heart? 

"Sophie?" Julia said gently. "Are you okay?" 

"I don't think so." Her voice was so quiet she worried she wouldn't hear her. 

But she did, stepping forward to wrap her in her arms. 

Sophie had come to know her scent as familiar, from days of laying low in the same motel room together. Turned out that guarding someone's life meant you'd get real intimate with them. 

So when she buried her face in her neck, Sophie closed her eyes and just breathed. In and out, letting her heart calm itself. 

Julia was speaking, murmuring something but she couldn't hear it. Even so, the gentle vibration of her chest was soothing. 

Sophie wanted to want it more. She did but it was locked so tightly away the world would never see it. 

Sophie held for a second too long before gently moving back. Understanding, Julia let her go. 

"I'm sorry," Sophie breathed, looking at her feet. "I didn't… I didn't mean-" 

The soft look in Julia's eyes made her trail off. 

"I get it," Julia said. "It's okay." 

"I like you," Sophie admitted. "I do. But I… I can't…" 

Can't love you. Can't kiss you. Can't let myself be happy. 

For fear and loneliness, maybe it was better that she chose her own fate. 

Julia nodded. "Hey, no pressure. You aren't ready." 

They were alone on the rooftop. No one but the two of them. 

"Can you wait for me?" 

Julia smiled and shook her. "No. Because when you're ready, I want you to do it for you. Not for me, not for anyone but you." 

"But when you are-" _that soft smile, so pretty surrounded by the faint lights of the city,_ "-you can call me if you want. And I'll answer." 

That was more than she could ask for. 

"Let's go back inside," Julia offered. "It isn't safe out here." 

It was she who had wanted to go to the rooftop, perhaps in hope that an intimate moment might happen between them. She'd been right yet she refused it. 

Sophie nodded. 

They didn't speak as they climbed down and returned to their motel room. Nothing needed to be said. 

Sophie worried this would put a degree of awkwardness between them—which would suck seeing as they were staying together for now. But Julia still smiled warmly as if everything was okay. And maybe everything was okay. 

The motel was mostly quiet at this time, save the squeaky bed down the corridor and the hum of cars through the window. Deciding to get changed for sleep, Sophie retreated to their bathroom. It was grimy and overall disgusting, but she preferred it to the embarrassment otherwise. 

Sophie pushed open the door and then realised she probably should have asked if Julia was decent before entering. Because she wasn't. 

Julia stood in her underwear while she pulled out pyjamas. Sophie stood for a second, drinking in the smooth muscles plains of her stomach, the swell of her biceps from years of training, the gentle bob of her throat before her eyes trailed down to- 

Sophie shut her eyes and turned around. "Sorry!" 

Julia laughed. "Ah, don't worry. I have no shame." 

Even so, Sophie refused to turn around until Julia promised her she was wearing clothes. Cheeks burning, she closed the bathroom door. 

"I can take the floor if you want," Julia offered. "If that would make you comfortable." 

They'd ordered a double room on purpose. Anyone looking for her wouldn't search after a couple. But it also meant they only had one bed between them. 

Sophie shook her head. "No, you don't have to." 

Because really, she was fine with Julia sleeping next to her. Distracting and beautiful as she was, Sophie could be professional. After all, wasn't it she who turned down the kiss? It wouldn't be fair to kick her out of the bed she paid for. 

Julia didn't argue. 

Sophie slipped beneath the sheets while Julia did the same thing on the other side. Lights off and then they tried to sleep. 

Which Sophie then promptly didn't. 

She was restless again, not comfortable on the motel mattress. She missed her own bed but this was for the best. 

Sophie rolled over to see Julia had done the same. 

But unlike her, Julia's eyes were closed as she sought to sleep. Sophie found herself caressing her face without a hand, sweeping down her cheekbones and gentle crest of her nose. 

She did like her, didn't she? Perhaps it was her beauty that had caught her attention but it was everything else that made her want to stay. But she was running, like she'd run from Kate. 

"Don't stare too much or my face will get stuck this way," Julia suddenly commented, cracking an eye open. 

"Sorry." 

"Don't apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for." 

But maybe she did. She'd lied to everyone in her life. Who was she? Did she even know? 

Sophie sighed and wished she didn't feel like this. 

Julia shuffled closer and gently touched her face. "Everything is okay." 

Sophie didn't believe that. Someone was trying to kill her and almost succeeded if it wasn't for the woman lying in front of her. Besides her deeply internalised homophobia, everything was quite dandy. Not. 

And then Sophie did something she didn't quite remember doing. The next morning, Julia would tell her she pulled her close and started crying into her shoulder. Sophie didn't quite remember. 

All she knew was that she was wrapped in Julia's arms, letting the world fall until there was no one but them. The rest of the world didn't matter. Because in the dark, hidden away from the world, was the only place Sophie was not afraid. 

So lying cuddled in her arms, Sophie closed her eyes and let the darkness claim her once again.

* * *

The next day, Julia went somewhere. She didn't specify where and Sophie had worked in this industry enough to know not to ask questions she couldn't answer. She wanted her to stay safe. 

But she'd been tired of staying in the motel. It was closed and cramped, so she asked Julia to drop her off somewhere else. Somewhere she promised was safe. 

"She's the one that was bleeding my table right?" Mary asked once Julia had left. 

"Yep." 

"So Kate's ex." 

"Also… yep." 

Mary arched an eyebrow. “And that doesn’t bother you?” 

“No? Should it? Is that strange? Should I find it weird?” 

“What? No!” Mary spun around. “No, no, I just mean that… I… are you worried what Kate will think?” 

Strangely enough, she hadn’t thought about Kate recently. Before, Kate often wandered into her thoughts or Batwoman would. Those two had been central to her life. But ever since Julia showed up, she’d focused on someone else. 

“Sophie? I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“No, no, it’s a valid question. I don’t know. I guess I’m not.” 

“Good. You shouldn’t be worried about what anyone thinks.” 

Sophie went quiet as she watched Mary bustle about the clinic. It was empty at the moment, unusual, but with the Crows cracking down on crime, most of her patients were laying low. So it was just them, alone. And then Sophie found herself asking a question. 

“Mary, have you ever kept a secret from everyone? Like a really important one?” 

“Well, considering that I run a secret clinic for criminals that if I was found out, I would go to jail for aiding and abetting, not to mention stealing from my college-... I think- I think so.” 

“Oh. Yeah.” 

To be honest, Sophie had kinda forgotten what Mary was doing was illegal. She’d gotten so used to it. 

“But that’s not what you’re asking, is it?” Mary stepped towards her. “Do you need to talk?” 

Did she? 

“I… I just feel like I’m lying to everyone.” 

“Are you?” 

Never a full lie but never the whole truth. But was a lie and a half true so different? They had the same effect, no one knew what was really happening. 

Sophie sighed. “I don’t know. But I don’t know how to stop.” 

Mary nodded. “Are you afraid?” 

Sophie nodded. 

“Of what?” 

Of everything. Of rejection, of being alone for the rest of her life. That was why she’d leaped at the chance to marry Tyler. He promised to be with her for the rest of time, they were married and sealed the deal. But again, her past caught up with her. 

And she was alone again. 

Mary smiled, knowing that she couldn't answer her. “Regardless, you aren’t alone. I'm here for you." 

“Thanks, Mary.” 

“Sure. What are friends for?” 

Friends? Were they friends? Sophie actually really liked Mary but she’d never thought they were that level. But then again, how many times had they helped each other? She enjoyed talking with her, about more than just work. Maybe they were friends. 

Sophie smiled. And maybe gained a little courage.

* * *

_**Several months later…** _

Of everything that had happened earlier, Sophie had thought about this one the most. 

It had been nerve-wracking to tell finally everyone that she was a lesbian. She'd always gotten stuck on the word. Liking woman was easier to say because lesbian was a label. But once she'd been able to use it herself, she realised that was what she was. 

Sophie Moore was a lesbian. 

At least most reactions had been positive. Her friends and co-workers had all congratulated her on having the courage to come out. 

Her family was another story. It hurt. But after careful thought, she didn't care what they thought anymore. She was being true to herself and if they didn't support her, then she would move on without them. 

Sophie stood in her apartment, staring down at the number she'd saved so long ago. She'd had given it to her and told her she was only a call away, that one day she'd be able to ask her the question she wanted to. And that day had come. 

Sophie pressed the button and lifted it to her ear. It rang and rang. For a heartbeat she thought she wasn't going to answer. 

Maybe she was busy, being a spy and all. Who knew where she could be? 

And then she picked up. 

"Hello~" 

Sophie had missed that enchanting voice. 

"Hey, Julia, it's me. Sophie." 

"Oh, Sophie, it's been so long. I thought you'd forgotten me." 

"Never." 

Julia chuckled down the end of her line. Still warm, still like she remembered. She hadn't seen her since she'd left yet Sophie still dreamed of her sometimes. 

"So… where are you right now?" 

"I don't think you're qualified for that information." 

Ah yes. Spy. 

"But… I will be around Gotham in two weeks," Julia continued. "For classified reasons. I will have free time though…" 

Sophie had been brave so much earlier today. But even then, she pushed herself to got the final lap. "In that case, would you like to go on a date with me?" 

She could hear the smile in her voice. "I thought you'd never ask." 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so like... Mary/Sophie brotp ftw!! 
> 
> Did you enjoy it? If you did, consider leaving a comment or something nice 💜💜  
> Find me here at my [Tumblr](https://the-demons-behind-your-smile.tumblr.com) ☺️


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